I recently got the chance to go back home and spend some time in nature…far away from street lights and stop signs. It was wonderful.
On thanksgiving morning before the meal was served, I wandered up the hill and into the woods. The woods on my family’s property is old. The trees haven’t been clear cut like the neighbors. There are old trees that have many stories.
As I was bobbing between cedar, walnut and others, I hear a loud screech in the sky. Someone wanted my attention. It was meant to wake me from my wandering mind.
So I stepped out into the meadow and I see a majestic beautiful hawk. It was circling me…speaking to me. It lead me up hill to another meadow. There I found a large rock and sat.
As I sat, I noticed two hawks that were coming into my world. I had just been speaking with my grandpa on the other side….and asking him that once I get to him, can we walk this land together.
The first hawk was missing a feather on one side of its wing…but was still flying with ease. It wasn’t perfect, but still beautiful. It visited me for only a little while.
Next the second hawk swooped in and almost stalled above my head maybe 8 feet….enough for me to stare at its wings that were perfect and strong. I realized that this hawk wanted me to notice it and it’s majesty. I gave thanks for it and its brother.
It was putting on a show for me. Showing the effortlessness of flying for those who have that design. I’ve always been obsessed with flying…it would be the super power I would choose. And I felt this bird was honoring that.
As i stared at it up in the sky, I noticed sparkles all over the blue backdrop. Swirling lights. It was as if the veil between worlds was thinned in those moments…and I could have stayed there forever.
I can’t wait to be able to explore earth from hawks view one day. It will be my first wish upon rejoining the company of my loved grandpa.
As I sat there, the hawk flew out of sight and I was left alone. I noticed an old brick not too far from where I was sitting. There was a house on that property perhaps 200 years ago. and there was one red brick sitting among some rocks. So I built an altar of remembering. I used the brick as the bottom layer of a small tower of rocks, to honor the gift the hawk had given.
It was later that night I realized what else the hawk had given me. I’ve been in the soul searching process of “awakening” to my purpose. If one searches symptoms of awakening, you’ll find a list of many things that have been a part of this physical life for me lately, as I’ve been changing and growing. On those lists are unexplainable physical symptoms, ear pressure, aches and pains, clumsiness, and the latest for me to notice and experience…hives.
I’ve never had hives. I thought at first I had come in contact with some mites or chiggers, or poison oak or ivy in the woods…but this is different…large whelps raise, then lower…and move over my body…making me aware of the toxic environment I’ve become accustomed to in this urban setting. I went to the er for the diagnoses. The doctor insisted that this symptom can only be caused by an allergic reaction from within the body to food, environment, or stress.
I’ve been working on turning all things into blessings. And I’m counting this last lesson in a spike in the tolerance and fight of my skin that houses the physical. It’s not happy where I am…and I must allow change to happen. I must count the lesson of hawk as important in my life. I want to be whole and filled with joy..even when I’m itchy from head to toe. It’s part of the temporary human experience. I feel something…and though it’s uncomfortable now, I think, like childbirth for a mother, what is delivered from this lesson will far out way the few days of discomfort.
Blessings all!
AncientModernShaman 